Midwestern Odyssey

Just a few more days in Chicago and I head to points South. Chicago has been a strange mix of old-home week and future strategic planning.

On the one hand, I am working in an extremely comfortable environment. This is the third show I've choreographed at DePaul University and the fifth time I've worked with this director. He is, in fact, the first opera director I ever assisted and this makes him a little bit mentor, a little bit friend and a little bit security blanket. I feel easy going with him in a way that I don't necessarily with other directors (especially in other houses).

On the other hand, I'm looking ahead and trying to plan out how my career is going to go. This really isn't something that's possible to do. So many established people who's brains I've picked tell me that so much of it is timing and luck. I know this, but it doens't keep my type-a personality from analyzing and reanalyzing what I've done, where I'm going and where I want to go. There's a thing so many of us say when we look ahead at our schedules and when they seemingly end. "What's coming up for you?" someone asks. "Oh...I'm at New York City Opera in September and after that I may never work again." Unrealistic for sure but it seems that way sometimes. I have offers on the table right now, I just have to sift through them and figure out what's best for me. Having the future of my career in my own hands is a relatively scary thing....but I digress.

Back to DePaul and Chicago, this has been a strange experience because it's really the first time I've run in during a rehearsal period, set some dance moves, and run back out again. I don't get to see this show open, I don't get to deal with the dancers on stage, and I didn't get to preplan by being here from the very beginning. I kind of like the limited responsibility, but I don't feel I'm bonding with it in the same way and that makes me a little sad.

The best parts of coming back here are the people. This is a director that I would follow around for the rest of my existance. I am lucky enough to have a couple of people in my life like that and I hope I know them for a good long time. They are the people who will always teach me something no matter how long I've been in the business and the people I will always be able to jump back into working with, with very little hitch and reintroduction.

I also like the fact that I've been able to watch a few of these students move through the program since I've come back about every two years. There are principals in this piece who were fighting their way through the chorus when I was here for "Idomeneo" in 2005. I love watching progress happen. The sad is end is seeing someone who hasn't progressed, but that's evident in all aspects of my teaching. I feel a little like a teacher here since this show is being put up in academia, and I like having that experience of giving back in a world that makes me feel pretty damn selfish most of the time.

The picture is a waltz rehearsal at the Music School. John took it while he was in town. I've been really pleased with everyone's progress with the dances, so I'm not sure what I'm thinking here. One student came up to me yesterday and said, "I can see your wheels turning every time we dance. It's great." They're turning pretty damn hard in this photo.

The other, other thing about Chicago is the opportunity to see family. I am staying with my little brother right now. My little brother who just turned 26 and lives on his own and has a real job and acts all adult...I feel younger than both of my brothers sometimes. I missed his birthday while I was in touring hell so I'm taking him out tomorrow night since we do not have rehearsals. My parents are coming up over the weekend so I'll get a chance to hang out with them as well. My fourteen-year-old brother will be with them. He is the one I've missed out with. I left home before he was two and sometimes I feel like I have to play catch-up with his life. He's changing so rapidly.

The other picture is of me at my sister-in-law's house in Cleveland, holding her cat, Jerry. That's the other thing I got to do here. John came in, we drove six hours to Cleveland, and I got to meet my father-in-law for the first time. It was a completely whirlwind trip in which we got into town at 4 in the morning and stayed for less than 48 hours, but I think totally worth it. Family is extremely important and I sometimes forget when I'm caught up in the opera of the day. Travel does one of two things. It either makes me forget completely about the existance of family or it makes me wallow in the fact that I am not around them.

John's family seems far away sometimes and I want to know them, so going there and having dinner and laughing, seeing pictures of John as a kid, was healing and encompassing. I am a part of a larger chain.

I think that's all the news that's fit to print right now. Life keeps moving forward and I am constantly readjusting to fit myself in. Career is absolutely important but sometimes we just have to look at it cross-eyed and have a beer with a friend, chase our brother's cat, sit in a coffee-shop and stare at the passers-by...

In Memoriam

Abby Stickann
(2002-2007)

My mother's beautiful 50th birthday tabby, peaceful, soft, comforting, died suddenly last night after only five short years of bringing joy to my parents and brothers (and sometimes Slim Shady, who would hang on the door of the back porch to get her attention). My memories of her consist of her silky gray fur slinking through the living room after I first walked in the door, of her watchful eyes bearing down on me from high above the great room as she perched on the shelf by the ceiling, of her fast asleep under the Christmas tree, curled up by Baxter, and sitting on her scratching post waiting for Dad to pet her as he passed by.

May she rest in peace.

Guess Where I Am?

In a hotel room, in Chicago, with (this is where it gets good). . .

My husband!!!

Woo-hoo!

Almost Gone..

I walked into the scene shop at the Landmark Theater this afternoon, and saw a bunch of our props sitting there. Sat down to snap this picture in case John's forgotten what I look like. Thought he could hang this in his office to remind him....

Sad. It seems like such a long time since I've seen him. I don't like this being away constantly from my husband. It used to be so much easier when I didn't care so deeply about someone at home.

Today was our closing performance. It was a performance of "Dropsies," with bits of the set falling, coins falling, posters falling.. Ah well, it's over and I was so happy with all of these performers, who took some difficult moments and made them into great theater. A lot of the singers had family in town which always makes for a nice nervous energy backstage.

I watched back stage this afternoon. It's so different than sitting in the house. In the house I feel like an audience member; I still get nervous for my singers but I'm somewhat removed from everything happening. When I'm backstage, I feel their energy, I am part of the performance. The show started and I was standing stage right and all of those supers were standing in the wings waiting to go on. As the first light came up and Kenny stepped onto the stage, the overture playing, the energy up and swirling, I got choked up. This is a part of the show that does nothing for me when I watch from the house but there's something about that first moment of stepping on stage that gets me every time.

The other moment that always gets me is the tune, but that chokes me up no matter where I am in the theater.

I stood further back to watch the bedroom scene so I could watch all of the guys hiding behind their panels. It's a farce so there's a bunch of popping in and out and peeking out of doors. Watching these guys fidgeting behind their various portals and panels, taking a sip of water, laughing at on stage antics, prepping to jump out and do something ridiculous. I almost preferred it to what was actually happening on stage.

I love what I do. It's so tough sometimes. I don't live in my home, I make these close, short-lived connections that make the whole experience bittersweet, I live out of a suitcase, but listening to that music every night and feeling the incredible energy of an "on" performance, a true ensemble playing off of each other to create incredible theater, is a sweet, sweet reward.

Tomorrow I start "Merry Widow." A whole new set of challenges and joys.

The Quality-Free Inn

I do not recommend the Quality Inn in Richmond, Virginia. It is an especially hard transition from the Courtyard Marriott in Fairfax, with a fireplace in the lobby and free cookies and down pillows.

My safe doesn't work, my toilet seat is chipped and I had to have my bedding replaced this evening when I pulled back the comforter and found a load of black hairs on the mattress pad. Lovely.

Be that as it may, Richmond is nice in that I get to see some friends I haven't seen in years. I had lunch with a friend I danced with San Diego who's been gone for almost three years. She took me to a lunch place and we spilled all the dirt and laughed about our lives. She looked terrific and I was ecstatic to be sitting across from her, falling into old good times so easily. Connections are connections regardless of how long you've been apart.

I had a second dose in the evening when I had dinner with a very good friend I'd been relatively out of touch with for almost nine years. We ate pasta and got giddy with each other, talking about how amazing it is the way life goes, the paths we find. Our paths have diverged but we are still the same and we still have the same ultimate goals, they're just more well thought out now.

I am amazed at the friends I have; their brilliance, their insight, their ability to lift my spirits and make me laugh even when I'm lonely and upset and in a crap hotel room on the opposite side of the country from my husband. I am so lucky to have shared passions and secrets and love and laughs with so many great, talented folks. Thank god for them, every one.

The pictures are of my lovely hotel room. It is cruel to go from such a nice place to such a skeevy place. I will be happy to start working again in the morning so I have something to think about other than what the suspicious stain is on the comforter. Fortunately we are lighting at the Landmark at 9am. I'll be there with coffee (lots of coffee).

Life is hard but good. It's the amazing people that pass through it that make it that way.

Last Night in Fairfax

The picture is sunset on the Chesapeake Bay Bridge. My view as I was driving back from New York City. The sun was unbelievable as it sank. I watched it dip down, looking as if it were melting into the roadway ahead.

Doesn't look like that here now. Cold and covered in ice and windy. The ice storm really ravaged the place last night. The roads aren't actually too bad but it was scary looking last night with the light pole out my window blowing around as if it were going to snap in half, and the American flag in front of the Lone Star ripping half off of its pole so it blew straight up in the air, whipping around wildly in the driving snow.

Today was yet another day at the hotel waiting to go to Richmond. It seemed like it would never come, but I am leaving at 11 tomorrow with our SM so that I can have lunch with an old friend at 2pm. I didn't do much of anything today, sat at a desk erasing and rewriting score notes, sat on my suitcase to get it closed after packing everything away, moved the coffee table over by the window so I could do a solo can-can, hopping around on one leg and kicking the other in the air, doing a vaudeville box step in canon with several missing chorus boys and waltzing with an imaginary partner to the tunes from "Merry Widow." It will be nice to have people to work on for that project; I'm sure those walking past my window had a good show.

Had dinner and watched a movie with some friends tonight. One of them rented a car for the day so we could get away from the hotel area. We drove until we found a mall, circled around it until we found a suitable restaurant, and sat in the front for a while after we realized it was so busy because it was Valentine's day. How quickly we forget about holidays when there's no one to share in it with you. All of our significant others are across the country or down the coast, and so today was just any other day for the three of us.

It was a good night. It's a blessing to have people in the hotel that I know and like lest I would truly go stir crazy.

On the road tomorrow!

The Touring Life

Sitting in a Courtyard Marriott in Fairfax, Virginia, the first stop on our mini-tour here at Virginia Opera. We've actually closed here; I leave for Richmond in the morning. The suitcase life is not a favorite of mine and this has been tough because I don't have my own transportation and the hotel doesn't have a restaurant. The room is comfortable enough though, and I've been catching up on sleep and work and salsa dancing, but that's another story.

Fairfax is a difficult place to put in the show because it's a concert hall and has only fixed line sets for its rail. Everything that's flown in takes an age to come in and out so the SM and I had to change all of the fly cues to make things arrive or exit when they actually needed to. For all of the trouble and a brand new crew, the show went surprisingly well. I was a bit worried and still buried my head in my hands on a couple of the slower set movements, but the singers were great and the audiences loved the show. The singers tell me that they love singing in this house so that's the good part of this leg of the tour, though I can't say I'm sad we're through it.

Richmond is at the Landmark Theater. This place is huge and old-fashioned, with the dressing rooms on balconies overlooking the stage. 3500 seats I think which is pretty much a barn. I hope the houses don't seem too small. The pic is backstage. Tape lines (and big red words) help singers and supers find their avenue out of the wings when they are facing down blinding side lights and "in-the-moment" nerves.

It's been a while since I've written. Once I got back from New York and started my trip to Fairfax, my business factor was raised by thousands. The tech process when you have one day to put up a whole show is daunting, and I had some drainage going on so I was trying to lay low whenever possible. I started feeling much better on Sunday and so went out and enjoyed myself a little the past few days. It was nice to leave the hotel room and have some raucous dinners, some dancing, some laughter. The loneliness in a hotel room is astounding after a week. I can't be a hermit when I'm traveling; I'll descend into myself something horrible.

New York was a total whirlwind. I saw friends, ran around in the eyelash-freezing cold, and got a job at New York City Opera. I'll be assiting Lillian again in the fall and will get to work with some great people. It was a terrific end the quick trip and I celebrated with a happy dinner with a friend before I drove back over the frozen New England landscape to Norfolk.

That's the good part of all of this travel: I've got friends in every port. It's so nice to see friendly faces in strange cities.

Tomorrow, friends in Richmond, Virginia. Next week, friends in Chicago!

Nearly Done with Norfolk

Madly dashing around today, working on choreography for "Merry Widow," which I will begin in Chicago in two weeks, doing laundry, packing, tying up loose ends before I begin this mini tour of Richmond and Fairfax.

I'm actually taking a side trip to New York City. I'll leave after our closing matinee on Sunday, drive up, stay at the Holland Motor Lodge (right at the toll booth of the Holland Tunnel - hence the name), and take the PATH into the city for two days to see friends and colleagues. It will be a wonderful respite before I begin the hell that is sure to be putting this show into the theater at George Mason University next Thursday.

We had a fantastic show last night! The audience was great, the recits were tight, the coffee was hot and the performers were hotter. I actually (and somewhat embarrassed to admit) was reduced to tears at the end of "Purch'io di Stringa.." when Poppea and Ottone cling together in the playout and look straight out to the audience, visualizing the horror of their destiny. Thank god I was sitting by myself.

My room is covered in suitcases. I hate living out of a suitcase, so the next month is going to be pretty tough.