Forward . . . In Time

So I'm looking ahead to this upcoming concert. It's funny how things seem so very far away on Thursday, and then a certain Monday rolls around and you can see the avalanche barreling towards you. My calendar doesn't look full but I feel it in my veins, that adrenalin rush around the corner as I start to prepare for December.

Brecht closed this weekend. It was a joyous occasion for all and I was especially joyous to finish up there and walk away for a while. The final performance was sheer perfection after a rough matinee that afternoon. It's so terrific to see a group of teenagers in rare form - they were nervous but cool, wandering off on their own, going over lines, breathing together in a circle before filing downstairs to the theater. Several days ago, on opening night, I introduced them to a theater tradition passed on to me by Mary Rotella. We played the hokey-pokey before stepping onstage. I don't know what it is about that ridiculous song that brings a cast together, but it works every time. We picked four body parts before each show. Everyone's favorite (especially if you're 15) is hips. Most memorable was the afternoon performance when the dressing room was moved into the smallest room in creation and we stood outside in the hallway and whispered the song so the approaching audience wouldn't hear it shouted from above.

I received fond gifts from my students. Cards, a gift certificate (!!) and a bottle of wine called "The 7 Deadly Zins" ("very funny...you didn't purchase this yourselves now did you?"), and fought back a little well-up as I watched them slip into the backstage area before we started. I was reminded of my college years performing in an ill-conceived black box, where the performers would enter the stage area from behind the audience AFTER the house lights had gone down. All holding hands, we would be led onto the stage and into the wings by a stage manager with a blue-tinted flashlight. The blue lights backstage always give me a twinge in the stomach...nerves from a bygone era in my life.

So, that's over. I am left with some great pictures, and a downward pointing directional sign that simply says, "Hell," a part of the set from our "Anger" section. Haven't decided where in my house it goes best yet.

The picture is, of course, the back of my postcard. It's a self-portrait, taken at my parent's house a year and a half ago. I'm not ready for the show to go up yet, but John is helping and I think I'll be there in a month. I still have to travel to Hungary, shoot a dance video, finish choreographing a solo piece to Johnny Cash, solidify my piece with a 6-year-old spitfire, and make some changes with my duet. It's a lot, and I am being brought back to my work with Cerulean in Chicago, lo those many years ago, when I ran around town with my friend, Lynne, printing off tickets, sending out press packets, calling newspapers, shoving postcards in people's faces and hoping beyond hope that I got everything done, that I did everything I could to promote.

And so I am promoting here as well. If you're in the San Diego area, come see it!!! The website is linked at the right. I can't verify that you'll like it, but I can verify that I put everything I had into it. It's the only way I know how to work.

Off that subject . . . in other news, election day is tomorrow and I'm still not sure what I want to do about most of these propositions and some of the people I'm supposed to vote for or against. There's too much on the ballot for me to possibly take in properly and I always get into the little cubicle and have a brief moment of "Oh, the hell with it!" before I settle in and take it seriously. I wish I really felt like I made a difference.

It's hot as Hades here and I find myself longing for a real fall and winter. I think I'm truly a Northern girl at heart (as John is a Northern boy). Every time we get Santa Ana winds here I get stopped up and miserable and feel like punching anyone who gets in my way.

John and I have been pricing pet steps to put by our bed so Lucius, my middle aged, somewhat crippled cat, can get up on the bed (and off the bed) without seriously injuring himself. Expensive little buggers those stairs. How can a square of foam cost $140?? I am baffled at how much we spend to make these little quadrupeds happy (while causing myself oodles of sticker shock and stress).

That's all for the moment. More shameless plugs and inconsequential musings later....

Brecht Opens Tomorrow

...thank heavens!

We had our final dress rehearsal tonight. It's a short piece so we had the chance to run it twice. These kids have worked really hard. I was looking back at old rehearsal pictures and realized what a long way we've come from that first rehearsal with a golf cart sitting in our rehearsal space and some of the worst French pronunciation I've yet encountered.

We've gone from sloppy shapes to beautiful angles with my three students stuck behind a scrim for most of the show. I have a student who slithers artfully across a piano, one who kicks over a chair with incredible verve, another who, after much coaxing, singles out audience members to tell them how much better she is than them, and a young piano player who blows me away every time he touches the keys.

I can't say that this has been a stress-free love fest. High school shows are difficult because they lack the support of a professional theater. No matter how much I'd like to say otherwise, I produced this show nearly on my own. I fought with space problems, a missing costumer, no funds, no stock, and a fire alarm that kept going off in rehearsal after rehearsal. Everything that professional actors know instinctively has to be explained in great detail in a high school rehearsal, and never assume that anyone will remember anything I say. However, I will walk away from this feeling like I've given these kids something to think about, and maybe I've inspired one or two of them to do their own work...

It's been a learning experience for all of us.
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This is day one or two of rehearsal. The first time we worked as a full group in the cabaret set up. The first rehearsal they all learned how to play blackjack. I think they are showing off their new-found skills here.

The first time we put together the Pride tableau. This is one of my favorite moments in the piece.

The Pride Tableau in a cueing session. The lights are the essence of the piece. They train the audience where to look. The addition of the scrim changed how all of the students responded to each other on stage. It was a riot watching the tech crew load that thing out of the scene shop and bring it over to our little neck of the woods.

This is the climax of the piece in full costume. Anna's revelation, I call it.

Here we see the cabaret moments come to fruition. Still playing blackjack, but finally looking the part. It's only missing a little smoke and some whiskey bottles, but we joke that it's a smoke-free, juice bar cabaret. They're all the rage in Berlin.

My amazing family in their silhouette corner. They worked so incredibly hard to achieve these gorgeous tableaus and I am amazed at the results. I could watch them all day.

The cut out in the letter was my student's idea. As soon as they realized how much they could contribute, the ideas started pouring out. Much of the design of the show was put together by brainstorming with these kids. I love being able to say that the show is as much theirs as it is mine.

I give all of my shows as gifts to my performers. Sometimes I get something back in return.

And How!

John and I worked all weekend on "Weiblich Ist?" Our little dance film - six minutes long. The image is the logo for our new little production company. I think it will have my voice saying "And How!" like the little girl in the old Shake and Bake commercials. I wish the company actually brought in money to pay for these films, but I guess we can't have everything.

It's great to work on little pieces with my husband. It's unbelievable how quickly he cuts together all of the pieces to make a cohesive whole. We have a montage in the middle of the piece that seemed to fall together by itself, but I know it took his honed skills to make it happen. We make a good team.

Brecht opens on Thursday. Tomorrow is a cue-to-cue, and I worry that we aren't ready. The kids actually had a pretty good run on Friday, but we are still missing some props and some of these changes are still pretty rough, and I know the five in the ensemble are really stressing about their cabaret songs, though they shouldn't. I'm really impressed with how those came together. We have this amazing, mop-headed piano player who talks each of the kids through their music and suddenly they have this instant cohesion with the music.

I didn't really work on anything pertaining to Brecht Project this weekend. I needed a respite. Actually, that's a lie. I went to Nordstrom Rack yesterday to look for the infamous thirties-esque shirts for my two main characters. I think I found something, but it wasn't a picnic. There was a tour group from Arizona shopping there - not to mention that Mission Valley is a heinous place to be on the weekend anyway. Nordstrom's was packed and I stood in line for what seemed like hours, shifting from foot to foot with my arms laden with bad looking shirts in colors I would never dream of wearing, while college kids from Arizona yelled into their cell phones all around me.

Anyway, I laid off the rest of the weekend and John and I spent time at the editing trailer, drinking copious amounts of coffee and laughing a lot. We also ate a late breakfast at Brian's American Eatery (Brian's Big Gay Eatery, as some people call it), watched "Zelig" and "Shadow of a Doubt" last night, and actually read books that didn't pertain to our work. "Zelig" was actually extremely funny. I never realized how well Woody Allen and Mia Farrow fit into the '20's era. Mia Farrow especially; she looked amazing as the demure pschyanalyst. The whole film is pretty genius. Woody Allen slipped himself into real footage from the time period way before "Forrest Gump" came out, and I think he did a much better job of it. There's one moment when he's trying to get Mia's attention from the podium where Hitler is giving a speech that is seamless and hysterical.

I also got started on both stage works for my concert. It was great to see Molly and Kim again, as we struggled through remembering "They'll Devour Me Too." It always amazes me how we can't talk through old choreography, but put the music on and we just start doing the steps. Our muscles have an incredible memory. The hard part will be trying to change some of the choreography and retraining our muscles to understand it. Muscle memory doesn't often like change.

A Job Here...A Job There

This is the iffy black box that I am tyring to present "The Brecht Project" in at Canyon Crest Academy. The kids and I step inside this hole for several hours every afternoon. They work hard, the kids, but putting this show up by myself has not been an easy task. Right now I'm trying to put together costumes. We don't have the money to truly go period, so we are trying to hint at the 30's while pulling things off the rack at AmVets and Salvation Army. The piece has also become a pretty prop heavy show. I didn't start off thinking that it would be, but as these kids keep working and suggesting, I find that every day we are continuously adding things to enhance. My poor A.D., who will unknowingly be in charge of preset, has her work cut out for her.

Yesterday was our last rehearsal without our amazing piano player. He's fifteen or sixteen years old and can pound out anything you ask for. I call the piano man "the heart of the piece" in the script, and he has proved himself to be just that. I'm excited to see what happens as we slowly get the set and costumes together. We open in a week.

I also just finished a video shoot for a little piece called "Weiblich Ist?" I wrote it and John and I shot it and John will edit it. The premise of the piece is a woman who is trying desperately to dress like her true self. She goes from a full ball gown to a full tuxedo and everything in between. Ultimately, she walks out the door in jeans and a t-shirt. KInd of like me.

We shot it in one day. It was a long, long day. I ended up exhausted and needed a day to decompress the next morning, but I think we were all satisfied with what we got. My friend, Cynthia, came along and helped me get dressed and undressed throughout the day. I love sets where we all get along - where we laugh constantly. I think there were only two or three times where there was any tension at all.

The piece premieres on December 17th at my concert, ". . .In Time" at the Arts & Entertainment Center in North Park. I'm shooting a little video in Budapest in a couple of weeks too. The Brecht piece goes up next week at Canyon Crest. These kids are pretty fantastic. I wish all of this work didn't wear me out the way it does.