Reasons for Not Writing...

1. My husband's come to town.

That could easily be the only reason for not blogging for the last week. I have to soak up every moment I have with him since he's near me so seldom. When he's around I want to spend all of my time leaning against his shoulder, walking hand-in-hand, talking rubbish with him.

But the list continues:

2. We're shooting a bit of an impromptu piece of screendance. The piece is about a woman who gets lost in the depths of the country after her car breaks down. I spent a lot of my free time before John arrived scouting remote locations, especially gravel roads. We've spent the last week running from deserted road to woodland field, pulling out our little camera and shooting footage of me dancing. It's coming together well, but I feel like we spend half our time chasing the proper sky around. New York weather is so fickle in the summer. Our first two shooting days were brilliant sun and the third day was spitting rain and overcast. Today we were hoping for some clouds and as soon as we began to shoot the sun came out in all its brilliance. Murphy's law's been our constant companion.













3.John and I have this sudden and overwhelming obsession with Ricky Gervais' "Extras." Richard, my roommate, has both seasons on DVD and we can't seem to get enough. Daniel Radcliffe chucking a condom at Diana Riggs is reason enough for me to plop down in front of the telly.

4. I have a friend overseas who urged me to join Facebook. I'm obsessed. I don't know how to stop.

5. It takes bloody 1/2 an hour to get anywhere in this huge, bucolic county. I drive constantly. Makes me long for the city.

So it's after midnight and we're watching the last episode of Extras and we're driving to the Berkshires tomorrow. . . hopefully to shoot a little more footage. Facebook is on a separate screen on my desktop and I'm leaning my head against my husband's shoulder. Finally I have time to write.

Half of Me..

I just boxed up part of my life and entrusted it to UPS for a week. It should arrive in Cooperstown on Tuesday and as soon as I open it up I'll be a little more at home in a foreign land. Every time I send a package off into the ether, I worry that it will never reappear. I track it obsessively.

I think because of my small trip to the UPS Store, I was in a terrible mood the rest of the day. I snapped at John and shuffled around grumbling to myself.

Acutally, now that I think about it, I had other reasons to be in a terrible mood. I woke up and stepped off the side of the bed onto a pair of jeans I'd left on the ground, which is not the bad part. It seems that Lucius didn't quite make it to the litterbox last night. Immediately after, I realized as he climbed onto the couch that he's terrible at hygiene generally...

I love my cat, but he seems to have a knack for making me worry or curse to myself. I try to laugh myself out of it by giving him nicknames like "poo tail" but deep down it immediately puts me on edge about his health.

I'm trying to enjoy my last few days with John before I leave, but nerves and stress seems to keep getting in the way.

Almost Gone..

I walked into the scene shop at the Landmark Theater this afternoon, and saw a bunch of our props sitting there. Sat down to snap this picture in case John's forgotten what I look like. Thought he could hang this in his office to remind him....

Sad. It seems like such a long time since I've seen him. I don't like this being away constantly from my husband. It used to be so much easier when I didn't care so deeply about someone at home.

Today was our closing performance. It was a performance of "Dropsies," with bits of the set falling, coins falling, posters falling.. Ah well, it's over and I was so happy with all of these performers, who took some difficult moments and made them into great theater. A lot of the singers had family in town which always makes for a nice nervous energy backstage.

I watched back stage this afternoon. It's so different than sitting in the house. In the house I feel like an audience member; I still get nervous for my singers but I'm somewhat removed from everything happening. When I'm backstage, I feel their energy, I am part of the performance. The show started and I was standing stage right and all of those supers were standing in the wings waiting to go on. As the first light came up and Kenny stepped onto the stage, the overture playing, the energy up and swirling, I got choked up. This is a part of the show that does nothing for me when I watch from the house but there's something about that first moment of stepping on stage that gets me every time.

The other moment that always gets me is the tune, but that chokes me up no matter where I am in the theater.

I stood further back to watch the bedroom scene so I could watch all of the guys hiding behind their panels. It's a farce so there's a bunch of popping in and out and peeking out of doors. Watching these guys fidgeting behind their various portals and panels, taking a sip of water, laughing at on stage antics, prepping to jump out and do something ridiculous. I almost preferred it to what was actually happening on stage.

I love what I do. It's so tough sometimes. I don't live in my home, I make these close, short-lived connections that make the whole experience bittersweet, I live out of a suitcase, but listening to that music every night and feeling the incredible energy of an "on" performance, a true ensemble playing off of each other to create incredible theater, is a sweet, sweet reward.

Tomorrow I start "Merry Widow." A whole new set of challenges and joys.