Almost Gone..

I walked into the scene shop at the Landmark Theater this afternoon, and saw a bunch of our props sitting there. Sat down to snap this picture in case John's forgotten what I look like. Thought he could hang this in his office to remind him....

Sad. It seems like such a long time since I've seen him. I don't like this being away constantly from my husband. It used to be so much easier when I didn't care so deeply about someone at home.

Today was our closing performance. It was a performance of "Dropsies," with bits of the set falling, coins falling, posters falling.. Ah well, it's over and I was so happy with all of these performers, who took some difficult moments and made them into great theater. A lot of the singers had family in town which always makes for a nice nervous energy backstage.

I watched back stage this afternoon. It's so different than sitting in the house. In the house I feel like an audience member; I still get nervous for my singers but I'm somewhat removed from everything happening. When I'm backstage, I feel their energy, I am part of the performance. The show started and I was standing stage right and all of those supers were standing in the wings waiting to go on. As the first light came up and Kenny stepped onto the stage, the overture playing, the energy up and swirling, I got choked up. This is a part of the show that does nothing for me when I watch from the house but there's something about that first moment of stepping on stage that gets me every time.

The other moment that always gets me is the tune, but that chokes me up no matter where I am in the theater.

I stood further back to watch the bedroom scene so I could watch all of the guys hiding behind their panels. It's a farce so there's a bunch of popping in and out and peeking out of doors. Watching these guys fidgeting behind their various portals and panels, taking a sip of water, laughing at on stage antics, prepping to jump out and do something ridiculous. I almost preferred it to what was actually happening on stage.

I love what I do. It's so tough sometimes. I don't live in my home, I make these close, short-lived connections that make the whole experience bittersweet, I live out of a suitcase, but listening to that music every night and feeling the incredible energy of an "on" performance, a true ensemble playing off of each other to create incredible theater, is a sweet, sweet reward.

Tomorrow I start "Merry Widow." A whole new set of challenges and joys.

The Quality-Free Inn

I do not recommend the Quality Inn in Richmond, Virginia. It is an especially hard transition from the Courtyard Marriott in Fairfax, with a fireplace in the lobby and free cookies and down pillows.

My safe doesn't work, my toilet seat is chipped and I had to have my bedding replaced this evening when I pulled back the comforter and found a load of black hairs on the mattress pad. Lovely.

Be that as it may, Richmond is nice in that I get to see some friends I haven't seen in years. I had lunch with a friend I danced with San Diego who's been gone for almost three years. She took me to a lunch place and we spilled all the dirt and laughed about our lives. She looked terrific and I was ecstatic to be sitting across from her, falling into old good times so easily. Connections are connections regardless of how long you've been apart.

I had a second dose in the evening when I had dinner with a very good friend I'd been relatively out of touch with for almost nine years. We ate pasta and got giddy with each other, talking about how amazing it is the way life goes, the paths we find. Our paths have diverged but we are still the same and we still have the same ultimate goals, they're just more well thought out now.

I am amazed at the friends I have; their brilliance, their insight, their ability to lift my spirits and make me laugh even when I'm lonely and upset and in a crap hotel room on the opposite side of the country from my husband. I am so lucky to have shared passions and secrets and love and laughs with so many great, talented folks. Thank god for them, every one.

The pictures are of my lovely hotel room. It is cruel to go from such a nice place to such a skeevy place. I will be happy to start working again in the morning so I have something to think about other than what the suspicious stain is on the comforter. Fortunately we are lighting at the Landmark at 9am. I'll be there with coffee (lots of coffee).

Life is hard but good. It's the amazing people that pass through it that make it that way.

Last Night in Fairfax

The picture is sunset on the Chesapeake Bay Bridge. My view as I was driving back from New York City. The sun was unbelievable as it sank. I watched it dip down, looking as if it were melting into the roadway ahead.

Doesn't look like that here now. Cold and covered in ice and windy. The ice storm really ravaged the place last night. The roads aren't actually too bad but it was scary looking last night with the light pole out my window blowing around as if it were going to snap in half, and the American flag in front of the Lone Star ripping half off of its pole so it blew straight up in the air, whipping around wildly in the driving snow.

Today was yet another day at the hotel waiting to go to Richmond. It seemed like it would never come, but I am leaving at 11 tomorrow with our SM so that I can have lunch with an old friend at 2pm. I didn't do much of anything today, sat at a desk erasing and rewriting score notes, sat on my suitcase to get it closed after packing everything away, moved the coffee table over by the window so I could do a solo can-can, hopping around on one leg and kicking the other in the air, doing a vaudeville box step in canon with several missing chorus boys and waltzing with an imaginary partner to the tunes from "Merry Widow." It will be nice to have people to work on for that project; I'm sure those walking past my window had a good show.

Had dinner and watched a movie with some friends tonight. One of them rented a car for the day so we could get away from the hotel area. We drove until we found a mall, circled around it until we found a suitable restaurant, and sat in the front for a while after we realized it was so busy because it was Valentine's day. How quickly we forget about holidays when there's no one to share in it with you. All of our significant others are across the country or down the coast, and so today was just any other day for the three of us.

It was a good night. It's a blessing to have people in the hotel that I know and like lest I would truly go stir crazy.

On the road tomorrow!

The Touring Life

Sitting in a Courtyard Marriott in Fairfax, Virginia, the first stop on our mini-tour here at Virginia Opera. We've actually closed here; I leave for Richmond in the morning. The suitcase life is not a favorite of mine and this has been tough because I don't have my own transportation and the hotel doesn't have a restaurant. The room is comfortable enough though, and I've been catching up on sleep and work and salsa dancing, but that's another story.

Fairfax is a difficult place to put in the show because it's a concert hall and has only fixed line sets for its rail. Everything that's flown in takes an age to come in and out so the SM and I had to change all of the fly cues to make things arrive or exit when they actually needed to. For all of the trouble and a brand new crew, the show went surprisingly well. I was a bit worried and still buried my head in my hands on a couple of the slower set movements, but the singers were great and the audiences loved the show. The singers tell me that they love singing in this house so that's the good part of this leg of the tour, though I can't say I'm sad we're through it.

Richmond is at the Landmark Theater. This place is huge and old-fashioned, with the dressing rooms on balconies overlooking the stage. 3500 seats I think which is pretty much a barn. I hope the houses don't seem too small. The pic is backstage. Tape lines (and big red words) help singers and supers find their avenue out of the wings when they are facing down blinding side lights and "in-the-moment" nerves.

It's been a while since I've written. Once I got back from New York and started my trip to Fairfax, my business factor was raised by thousands. The tech process when you have one day to put up a whole show is daunting, and I had some drainage going on so I was trying to lay low whenever possible. I started feeling much better on Sunday and so went out and enjoyed myself a little the past few days. It was nice to leave the hotel room and have some raucous dinners, some dancing, some laughter. The loneliness in a hotel room is astounding after a week. I can't be a hermit when I'm traveling; I'll descend into myself something horrible.

New York was a total whirlwind. I saw friends, ran around in the eyelash-freezing cold, and got a job at New York City Opera. I'll be assiting Lillian again in the fall and will get to work with some great people. It was a terrific end the quick trip and I celebrated with a happy dinner with a friend before I drove back over the frozen New England landscape to Norfolk.

That's the good part of all of this travel: I've got friends in every port. It's so nice to see friendly faces in strange cities.

Tomorrow, friends in Richmond, Virginia. Next week, friends in Chicago!

Nearly Done with Norfolk

Madly dashing around today, working on choreography for "Merry Widow," which I will begin in Chicago in two weeks, doing laundry, packing, tying up loose ends before I begin this mini tour of Richmond and Fairfax.

I'm actually taking a side trip to New York City. I'll leave after our closing matinee on Sunday, drive up, stay at the Holland Motor Lodge (right at the toll booth of the Holland Tunnel - hence the name), and take the PATH into the city for two days to see friends and colleagues. It will be a wonderful respite before I begin the hell that is sure to be putting this show into the theater at George Mason University next Thursday.

We had a fantastic show last night! The audience was great, the recits were tight, the coffee was hot and the performers were hotter. I actually (and somewhat embarrassed to admit) was reduced to tears at the end of "Purch'io di Stringa.." when Poppea and Ottone cling together in the playout and look straight out to the audience, visualizing the horror of their destiny. Thank god I was sitting by myself.

My room is covered in suitcases. I hate living out of a suitcase, so the next month is going to be pretty tough.

Monday's off For Most...

...but not me. 'Tis okay. I only officially work for two hours, doing some duet staging with my Poppea and Ottone covers. "Agrippina" opened on Friday and we had a Sunday matinee already as well. Good response all around. Check out this review from the Virginian Pilot. There was also a very favorable radio review by Edgar Loessin. My favorite quote:

One of the problems in staging a baroque opera is deciding what to do with all those musical interludes between the scenes, arias and recitatives. To the untutored ear they stop every thing until there is singing again. Not for Groag. She explores every note of them and discovers a dramatic cess pool teeming with life. She uses supernumeraries who wear white face makeup and black lip stick, pomaded hair and tuxes. They suggest decadence, like cabaret Masters of Ceremonies in pre-Hitler Germany.They are Proteans who play many little roles, and are also like a Greek Chorus or living scenery or they become phantoms who torment the principle characters.. They set the mood and place for the opera in a highly theatrical manner.

How often are the supers mentioned in an opera review? This is not to say that the principals were unmentioned. Mr. Loessin loved them as well, shouting their praises through the airwaves, but I was proud of my young supers who walked in the door expecting to hold a spear and walked out with a glorious review.

So today I am resting and doing bits and pieces here and there. I had dinner with a bunch of people last night, drank Bourbon (Virginia Gentleman to be exact), lounged on huge overstuffed couches and listened to people belt out showtunes with a great deal of irreverence. I stuffed myself with spaghetti and partook in amazing brownies (the secret was soaking the walnuts in Amaretto which gave them a sweetness and kick that was totally unexpected). Later, one of the sopranos and I did dishes and had some lazy chit-chat while the boys sang selections from Phantom, Showboat and West Side Story. It was a wonderful (if not unusual) way to wind down after a matinee, and always lovely to be around people you like when you're so far from home.

I got home at 11:00 and talked to John on the phone for a while. I always look forward to that last call of the day. It grounds me no matter if I'm flying high or wallowing.

The show on Sunday was a knock-out for the singers. Opening was a quiet, somewhat lackadaisical audience, and Lillian told everyone that they couldn't let an audience get them down. "If your tennis partner doesn't show up, play racquetball," she says. I concur. You have to play off of each other or an audience can tear you down. No problem playing tennis on Sunday! The audience was guffawing right out of the gate and the singers were at their best, romping through the funny bits and delivering devestating blows in the serious moments. I wanted to eat all of them up by curtain call.

Technically, however, we're still dealing with issues. I'm hoping that my list of notes this time will solve most of them, but it seems to be a never-ending process. I finally watched the show from far house left yesterday and it's always a shock to see how sight lines are being handled. The audience sees an entirely different show depending on where they are sitting. It was interesting to find out, for instance, that the glossy paint on the hard legs acts as a mirror for backstage activity when you're watching from the sides of the house. Had I been backstage or relegated to the middle of the house for the entire run, I don't think I would ever have noticed this phenomenon. As it is, however, we can rectify it now that we've seen it. No pacing by nervous performers pre-entrance anymore. Dancers wouldn't survive well with this type of problem. We must jump around before stepping on stage.

I walked down to a coffee shop today and worked on my score for an hour. All of the information is in there, it's just messy and I want to clean it up so it's easily readable by other people. I'm probably more obsessive about it than most, but then I remember picking up other A.D. books and not being able to decipher any of the blocking notes, and that makes me feel better about my own OCD qualities.

I'm also starting to realize what a small town this is. I'm running into the same people everywhere I go. I had an impromptu lunch with the stage manager the other day when we ran into each other at Panera, and just ran into our harpsichordist at a sandwich shop. I see people I recognize at the grocery store every time I walk in there. I will be happy to go on tour and regain a bit of anonymity.

Okay. Done for now, a little more score work and then off to two hours with the covers. I'll be happy to get the cover work over and done with.

A Few Words After a Very Long Week

This is me a couple of days ago, sitting in a quiet house during dinner break. slinging my feet over a chair, I went over the pages of notes I would give as soon as the singers arrived. I've talked about the magic of empty theaters before and it never ceases to blow me back. Such a huge cavern has the capability to be absolutely silent and that is an amazing thing. That half hour before a show goes up is so satisfying.

The show opens tomorrow. It's been a haul to say the least. This show is difficult to tech and call and we had our tech time truncated by a set that took it's time to arrive at completion. It's all in now though and we had a successful student dress rehearsal last night wherein there were several times that I wanted to fall on the floor in hysterical laughter at the antics on stage. Student audiences can be a little deceiving though. What twelve year olds find hysterically funny, an adult might find only moderately witty. The balls-to-the-wall laughter and shrieking that was enjoyed by the singers last night may not be there pump them up for the rest of the run. Though the bedroom scene in act II nearly makes me wet my pants every single time.



This is an advertising video on YouTube that Virginia Opera put up so people would get an idea about the show and its cast of characters. I'm not sure that the clips they chose were truly indicitave of the show itself and how beautiful it is in its specifity, how varied the music is for a baroque opera and how truly funny our cast of singers are, but it's nice to see it out there for people to grasp onto and, hopefully, be interested.

The Virginia Pilot did a story about the opera today and included a "mug shot" off all of the singers in full costume. Smart marketing. We'll see if it works.

Today was supposed to be my day off but I spent nearly seven hours with the director and set designer of the show I'm going to be assisting on here next year. It was great to go in and sit down and really start to hash out how this piece will come together. It's so rare to have an opportunity to be with a piece from its conception so I was particularly interested in being in on these meetings. We met with the choreographer a few days ago so I feel like I'm really starting to get a handle on the look and feel of this show. We start rehearsals in August.

Otherwise, life is moving. I'm working like a madman on this show. As soon as it opens, I'll turn large portions of my attention to "Merry Widow." I talk to John every night but it isn't enough. Most of us doing this show are married so we all have similar problems. It's a struggle but you keep going because you love what you do. John's in the middle of an opera season too, putting together an "Opera Spotlight" tonight about "Boris Gudonov" at San Diego Opera. He always does a brilliant job with these shows. I just wish I could be working on a couple of them while he's shooting.

Last Day in "The Room"

"The Room" refers to the rehearsal room, where we've spent the last few weeks. We had a three hour session of notes today and tomorrow we will be on the stage for five hours to get our bearings, space and make sure that everything we put together in "The Room" will work in the confines of the stage space.

The move to stage is always a bit disorienting. In "The Room," stairs and levels are designated by brightly colored tape on the floor and walls are designated by music stands (the labyrinth I mentioned in an earlier post). Once we're on the actual set, however, people will be singing from different levels, climbing up stairs they've never actually seen before, and singing on furniture that hasn't existed for them until that day. It's somewhat like moving into a new house. Your daily activities still happen at the same time and with the same motive, it's just that your bathroom is in a different place and your silverware is in a different drawer.

It's actually been a stressful week but for reasons that have nothing to do with staging. It, for some reason, seems to be in the stars right now that people must deal with tragedy and family issues and so the stress of this is floating in the air. We will pass through it I am certain, but last night I slept for twelve straight hours for no other reason than I was overstressed. I am too open to other people's anxieties.

Tonight was "Opera Insight," a radio series that is taped in front of a live audience in the Grand Lobby of the Harrison Opera House. I put on some nice clothes (for a change) and went out to support the singers and director who were speaking about the opera and its particular challenges and joys. I think these events are always difficult for those in the spotlight. Talking about art and performance to people who know nothing about your side of the coin is a very hard job and can wear you down. Our cast and team did a great job and even garnered several laughs throughout the evening, and we all got a drink and a chat with each other in the end.

Virginia is cold right now. It's supposed to be below freezing tonight (and I even heard wind that it might snow). I kind of like the cold as it gives me a chance to wear my orange winter coat. (tee-hee)

The picture? A Supernumerary rehearsal in "The Room." Next stop is the tech table...

Coincidence

I had dinner with a friend last night. Pasta, wine . . . the good stuff. I went home and didn't sleep well; had strange dreams, tossing and turning with images of kidnappings and small, enclosed rooms and being in a high rise, floating above a nameless city with no hope of escape. Not a great thing to wake up to in the front of your thoughts.

I found out today that my friend had almost exactly the same dream. We were nowhere near each other and we did not talk about kidnapping or high rises or small rooms. It was baffling and creepy and goes way beyond coincidence.

That's only happened to me once before and it was not a good thing. On the day my uncle fell into a coma after a terrible car accident, my mother and I both woke up with the same dream in our thoughts. A hideous red snake was chasing us in the dream with a wide-open mouth and an ability to spring upwards towards people as they tried to get away. We were sitting at the breakfast table and both just happened to mention it.

How does that happen? How does such a strange image imbed itself so deeply into the subconscious of two separate people? I am in awe of those things I know I do not understand.

We decided that it must be the wine...

Besides supernatural occurances, rehearsals are going very well and we have worked through the entire show several times over. I think the cast is ready for stage (as am I), but I'm not sure the stage is ready for us. I hear them pounding away down there, sawing and cursing and listening to bad arena rock while we are up in the rehearsal hall with our arpeggios and cadenzas. This set came to us as a partial. Much of it was destroyed in a flood and so we are left with a shell and the opera has had to build large portions of it. In a way this is good because the set will have an automatic touch-up, but it makes for more work than this company is used to methinks.

It's just now dawning on me that I will be touring with this company. Granted, we only go to two more cities in the surrounding area (the furthest being 3 hours away I think), but talking to the asm tonight about piling in a van and trying to fit the luggage in and stopping at truck stops on the way (a van full of opera singers at a truck stop?) was a little more than I was ready to bear.

I really like this show. It's some of Handel's most inventive work. Agrippina sings an aria in the second half, "Ogni Vento," which is a positively triumphant little waltz, and another of her arias "Pensieri mi tormentate," has a downright modern feel to it as she does her own version of a mad scene, clamoring barefoot up the steps to hang on each gold throne in turn, screeching to the audience before she collapses at the footlights with the creepy supers in their punk wigs staring down at her.

Also in the second half, Nero sings an aria, "Quando invita la donna la mante," that has the feel of a drug haze, and it is, as his minions surround him feeding him cocktails and drugs. The modern dress and sentiment fits easily into the music and story. It's dirty and seedy and awful and terribly funny all at the same time. A bedroom farce told with some of the most unlikeable characters in human history.

It's nice to have such a scintillating cast (and I say that with no sarcasm whatsoever) as well.

Thank god for good work; life on the road would be all but unbearable without it.

A Valentine to Dysfunctional Families Everywhere

I thought I'd do some work on my score while watching a movie tonight. Got an account at a local video rental store, rented "Little Miss Sunshine," sat down to work, and didn't get a thing done. I was engrossed in this family that was nothing like mine but everything like mine.

As Leo Tolstoy once said (in one way or another), "All normal families are the same, each dysfunctional family is dysfunctional in its own way." This, however, does not keep us from recognizing ourselves in the mishaps of the Hoover family as they try to get their youngest, Olive, to the Little Miss Sunshine competition in Redondo Beach.

I laughed at their ridiculous behavior, covered my mouth in shock as they "stole" their grandfather out of the hospital, felt embarrassed as Olive began her routine at the pageant, and ultimately cried like a baby at the end over missing my own family, no matter how much we get on each other's nerves.

Family is family. You smack each other around, use past embarrassments against each other, hold grudges, poke fun, talk about failures in hushed corners, yell at each other for no reason, stop talking all together for years, ruin holidays, nearly get in huge car accidents because you're throwing shit at each other while driving, steal crap out of each other's rooms, squabble over Happy Meal toys, lick all the cookies so no one else can eat them, and poke each other in the back of the neck until you all end up screaming simultaneously.

But when the chips are down, you show up. You love each other....or at the very least, you pat each other on the back and say it's going to be okay. I've hated every family member I have at least once in my life, but I wouldn't be anywhere without them and I can't imagine my life in their absence. They are my laughter, my history, my roots and my redemption. And on my worst days, I thank heavens for a good family joke.

Maybe the old fool would like a pickle...just like Jenny.

See the movie.

Virginia is for Lovers

Happy New Year!!! 2007 is starting off with furious working and the aftermath of several tragedies and long days of endless travel.

I am here. Virginia. Norfolk to be exact. The city feels older than San Diego. I feel at home - a bit Midwestern - here, but I think it's because they actually have deciduous trees. The house in which I am staying is a two-story in Ghent, built in the '20's, and occupied by an incredibly sweet couple and their incredibly huge cat, Chai.

Chai and I took to each other right away. He rolled around in front of me like a little sausage, I rubbed his ears, he stuck his face in all my bags, then settled in on the chair in my bedroom to fall asleep snoring and restless. He jumps up on my lap when I'm at the table and my legs almost can't support his weight. Twice now he's jumped up, misjudged the height, and scrambled as he fell back to earth. I have the scrapes to prove it.

Today, New Year's Day, was the first time I actually wandered around my neighborhood. Colley Ave, just down the way, has a great art film theater and several coffee shops and boutiques. I plan to make my way down there tomorrow as well before I go into rehearsals. We are a week in to rehearsals.

Agrippina is a long show with some extensive recitative. Lillian has set the piece in the materialistic world of the 1970's with Agrippina in long, wrap gowns and all of the boys in three piece suits. Nero is played by Jeff Halili, who has a fire and sensuality in his presence and voice that makes him down right scary to watch. In Lillian's concept, the palace is crawling with men we call "Creepies." They are the poison that seeps in and makes mass murderers out of these infamous characters. Dressed in White tie and tux, they wander through the palace, smoking, drinking and inviting drug use to corrupt Nero and throw him over the edge.

All of our singers are very strong and young and seemingly ready for anything. It's great to be among that energy in rehearsals. The room is more sparse than most of my rehearsal room pictures. We are missing most of the props due to a flood accident and so it feels a little like we are starting from scratch. A couple of the singers call the set-up the "maze of music stands," and it is. A labyrinth of stands indicates where singers can and cannot walk as they weave their way through the grills and drops that make up the set. The only real pieces we have in there right now are a series of gold thrones. When the lights hit them on stage they will light up like fire.

My resolution (started early) this year, I want to get back into shape. This involves losing a few pounds and eating healthier as well as exercising and maybe jumping back into some dance classes. I've been good thus far. The openness of my hosts has led me to feel comfortable in their kitchen. I've been making my lunch and buying good foods to keep me going without over filling.. I have high hopes.

In current events, Saddam is dead. That whole thing was very creepy, and I've been without internet or television so I'd been out of the loop when someone walked into rehearsals last week and asked me if I'd heard. Our stage manager pulled the clip up on his computer and I watched through fingers spread across my eyes. I know he was an evil, nasty, horrid person, but I hate that we had a hand in his death. I just can't get behind government sanctioned killing of anyone - even awful dictators. I don't think it's going to help the situation over there in the least.

Gerald Ford died too and that is very sad. He was a great supporter of the arts. I heard rumor that W didn't come to the funeral ceremony in Palm Desert because he didn't want to cut his vacation short. I don't know if that's true, but I wouldn't put it past him. I got in a huge discussion about W's inability to say and do the right thing at the New Year's Eve Party I went to - it seems to be such an easy thing to go on about.

And so we get to New Year's Eve. It was a wonderful and strange experience. I haven't been to a true New Year's Eve party since the Millenium (and that one was crap so I'm not sure it counts... I got stuck on the roof during the count down and I didn't know a soul there . . . long story, just know it blew), so when my friend, Lynne Marie, told me she was having one, I was very excited. Lynne and I knew each other during my Cerulean days in Chicago. She moved to Richmond six months ago, so I was ecstatic when I realized I would have friends out here.

Richmond is almost two hours away, but traffic was light at 7pm on New Year's Eve. Lynne lives in Church Hill so I had the joy of listening to semi-automatic rifle fire at midnight, and heard news of a stabbing down the street right after I got there, but once I was settled in, it was great fun.

Highlights? Reminiscing with Lynne about the "good old days" in Chicago, meeting Lynne's husband's friend from Chicago who had several deep and wonderful conversations with me through out the evening, watching quite a few young-ish party goers do idiotic things that I would have embraced during my college years, but no longer have any desire to attempt, getting tapped on the shoulder by Scott, the director of Cerulean and a long-lost friend and hero, a little after midnight. I think I jumped in his arms - that's how good it was to see him. Umm...realizing that Lynne had put the champagne in the freezer and forgotten about it so we dunked them in warm water and spun them, trying to warm them up fast. We ended up toasting with beer, gin or whatever was available, watching a young man in a purple wig get completely shit-faced, act like an ass around a bunch of people he didn't know, then pass out by slamming his head face-down on the kitchen table, talking to John on the telephone on the front porch while guns are going off in every direction...

I slept on the floor in Lynne and Esam's room and actually delighted in helping her clean up in the morning before I started back to Norfolk. It was so good to see good friends, reminders that my past wasn't as awful as I sometimes remember. I was really close to these people. I think I was also reminded that youth is fleeting and crazy and we all do ridiculous things when we're on our own for the first time - it's part of growing up. Lynne and I actually looked around at one point and toasted to "Never again."

And so now I am apparently all grown up. I had dinner with my host and hostess and one of their friends tonight and she thought I looked very young. She said, "You look like a child but you have such adult responsibilities." She doesn't know the half of it. This opera, especially since it tours, will make them abundantly clear very very soon.

The pic? The exact moment we entered 2007 at Lynne's party.

United has Done It Again

Greetings from O'Hare Airport in lovely West Chicago. I am sitting in the terminal, waiting for a delayed flight on which I may or may not have a seat.

My flight from San Diego was delayed by 40 or so minutes due to weather issues in the Pacific Northwest. The psuedo-friendly man behind the counter there assured me that I would be able to make my flight in Chicago, as did the cheery, cheeky flight attendant once we sat down. They both told me to hussle myself to the gate; the plane had been notified of my late arrival and it would not be a problem.

Lies, all of them.

They buttered me up by upgrading me to Economy Plus, a crock of bull ploy to make you spend more money with the idea that you would have a better flying experience; a step down from business class, if you will. MY Economy Plus seat was in the front row of the plane, right next to the door. There was a draft at the door that nearly gave my feet frostbite, there was no place to store any of my bags because there was no seat in front of me (I did, I guess, have great leg room), and blankets were stored in the overhead cabin, and the service was no better there than all the way in the back of the plane.

Nice try.

Anyway, the advantage was that I got off the plane first and ran pell-mell down the B Concourse through the United underpass with those eerie neon lights and that annoying United music repeating itself indefinitely in a metallic sort of way, and pell-mell down the C Concourse. I got to the gate 12 minutes early.

They'd given away my seat and closed the doors. There were no more seats available on the flight. Sorry. They shouldn't have told you to run. We never hold flights for people; we're delayed all the time.

Yeah, maybe you ought to do something about that.

He puts me on a flight to Richmond, so I call Virginia Opera and they say they can't pick me up in Richmond because it's an hour away so I can't take the flight. I stand in line for an age, tasting blood in my mouth and wheezing from all the running, and talk to (I must say) a VERY friendly customer service agent who gives me a confirmed seat on a flight tomorrow afternoon but says if I want to fly out tonight I have to fly standby.

So that's where I am. My throat hurting, my feet hurting, screaming children sitting next to me, a lack of nutrients in my body, and no idea where in this huge city of an airport my checked luggage actually is. I'm hoping it's on this next flight to Norfolk.

Happy Holidays! In good news, I had a great holiday with John and we got some really great gifts. The pic is of Monty eyeing the wrapping paper with great suspicion. I was just joyous and am wearing a beautiful necklace to prove it.

Now if I could only get out of this blasted airport.

It's All About Who You Know..

Acutally...it's all about who knows you. And so, the publicity push for my concert begins. I've been putting hints in people's heads for some time now, but three days ago I sent out a mass email to 200 people in my acquaintence and yesterday I sent a press release to every newspaper and radio/tv station in town. I even sent a couple of personal emails to critics I know in hopes that they will be interested in coming and maybe writing a little something about what they see.

This is the part I have trouble reconciling with myself. I make work because I want people to see it, but I hate promoting myself. I feel somewhat selfish and overbearing when I encourage people to come to my concerts. It's ridiculous because it's the only way to get an audience, but I want people to come of their own volition, not just because they feel strong-armed.

But I bite the bullet and do it. I should be proud of my work and running around screaming it from the rooftops. In fact, if anyone reading this post is in the San Diego area, or has friends here, they should come see it too. It's December 17th at 7pm in North Park. A place called the Arts & Entertainment Center at 30th and University. I'll be there, John will be there, my three dancers will be there. As for the rest of the audience, it's anyone's guess.

It's a good show. I'm particularly proud of my second video, the one John and I just finished. It's well put together and I think Zach did an incredible job with the music. So much so that I want to hire him again for another video. We should make this a regular family affair.

So that's the show right now. Both videos are done, I'm still tinkering with some changes in "They'll Devour Me Too" but it's basically done, My six-year-old other and I have finished our duet, it's just the massive cleaning we're looking at now, and my solo is mentally understood, it just needs time in a physical space. I'm feeling confident in having a show prepared when I walk in the door on the 17th. Now it's just getting people there. I guess I'm not feeling too terrible about that either.

In other news, I'm almost done with my Christmas shopping. That is to say that my family is done and I have an idea in my head about what I want to do for John. I'm sending out a few cards this year but not nearly as many as other years. I must get working on those but hope to get them done over the weekend.

Leaving for Virginia is coming much quicker than I want it to. I've grown to like living at home (imagine that) and the thought of getting on one more airplane and thrusting myself into an unfamiliar place is a bit nerve-wracking. I've got all of my score materials, however, so at least I'm getting a jump on that.

Life is rushing along and me with it.

Well, Holy Crap!

Bush Takes Blame for GOP Election Losses

On CNN. My favorite quote:

"The message yesterday was clear: The American people want their leaders in Washington to set aside partisan differences, conduct ourselves in an ethical manner and work together to address the challenges facing our nation," Bush said.

All those things we learned in kindergarten: cooperation, following rules, acting ethically, learning to get along...it took him a while to stop stamping his feet and jutting out his lower lip, but it's good to see our president trying to act like a big boy.

Also...no more Donald Rumsfeld. Woo-Hoo!!

So now it's just up to Virginia...I've got fingers tightly crossed. Maybe we can actually see some real checks and balances in these last couple of years. A congress led by the Democrats will at least make the time leading up to 2008 a bit more bearable (please?)