You know those days where you just can't seem to live up to the standards you set for yourself? Those days where you seemingly fail at what would normally be a relatively simple task? That's how I feel today. I just couldn't seem to get it together. I was three pages behind everyone else at work, I was on a different plane than every person I talked to. I couldn't explain myself well, I seemed to have a lot of trouble formulating complete and correct sentences. Just now I had to spell and erase "have" four times before I got it correct. I'm just not on my game.
I told a friend today that I felt a little like Apolo Ohno. Here he is trying to do his job, knowing he has certain expectations to meet, knowing that people see him a certain way and feeling like he has to be there for them, that he has to accomplish things in a certain fashion in order to stay on top. Here he is with all of this in his mind and when he finally steps out on the ice, the first thing he does is bobble a simple task he's done a thousand times, grab someone else's skate, plow sidelong into a bunch of lane markers and . . . well . . . lose.
Not that anything in my life right now is as dramatic as a speed skating heat at the Olympics, but sometimes those simple tasks gone awry just take you down a notch and you feel like you've failed your heat.
As my mom used to say, "I'm not mad, just disappointed."
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